But what can you do when the rivalry turns into physical violence? For the past 3 months it seems that all my two boys can do is fight!
Having reached my wits end I came to the conclusion that my early childhood education teacher might have THE solution. I gained some great insight from her.
"You cannot stop the fighting", she said, "even if you ban it, they will do it behind your back. Trying to stop the fighting is a lost battle". That was very liberating to hear.
Even better, she suggested that I inform the little boxers in my house that fighting was now permitted with ground rules about where you can or cannot hit. A bit like Fight Club if you like. This, in theory, would take the wind out of their sails.
For me this was too simple, it was hard to believe. We hate violence and our children have never even received a slap on the wrist. As much as I trust all our visiting teachers, as they know so much about child development and psychology, I was sceptical. But at that point we were ready to try anything.
The expression on my children’s faces when I told them that fighting was now allowed, providing they did not hit each other in the face or below the waist, was priceless.
So if you have tried everything and feel brave enough to tolerate Fight Club in your living room, give this a try. You will be surprised.
Author: Helene Girard